How to make a combine stay still a combine

[HL2R Killergame]

Tell him that theres a headcrab on his back

[DJ_Monkey_Pilot]

Is that a joke?

[Stinger]

Well if it is, I don't get it.

[jlf]

Neither do I.

[entRo]

Haha, what the fuck?

[[ICR]]

Lay off the needles dood.

[RedXIII^]

????

[Crazy_Farmer]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA, I don't get it...

[WillyDavidK]

heh .. haha . ha ..

-

no

[cow]

I thought it was a good joke.

[DJ_Monkey_Pilot]

You understand it as a joke?

[entRo]

This is the best thread we've had so far. Keep it alive.

[jlf]

I'm not so sure about that enTRo. It's hot competition with some o YeTi's threads.

[SwiftSpear]

Seriously guys, I really am good at CS.

[bushnoh]

lolol, now thats a good joke.

[Crazy_Farmer]

Yeti did a thread about this.
Anyway why he stopped posting here?

[jlf]

Probably just got bored.

[Stinger]

Spammers thrive off attention, if you just ignor them, most of the time they just go away.

[Crazy_Farmer]

He was a spam master, he did about 150 posts in one day and I can see only like 4 threads with new reply...

[HL2R Killergame]

Man this is a looooooooooog list of replys wanna here's another 1, well here whats the diffrence between a combine and a slice of pizza

[HL2R Killergame]

If you lob the high up they will both go SPLAT :)

[entRo]

I could have sworn you said "difference"..

[Danny Glover]

Man this is a looooooooooog list of replys wanna here's another 1, well here whats the diffrence between a combine and a slice of pizza

See my face? See my face? See it? That's me not caring.

<robbed from Jabberw0cky>

[Stinger]

Man this is a looooooooooog list of replys wanna here's another 1, well here whats the diffrence between a combine and a slice of pizza

You can't eat combine.

[TK12]

Pizza is made out of cheese, flour, yeast, tomatos, oil, salt, and various toppings.

[SwiftSpear]

Pizza is made out of cheese, flour, yeast, tomatos, oil, salt, and various toppings.
Combines are made out of various toppings...

[entRo]

I don't know who this guy is, but he's my favorite poster by far.

Keep it coming Nonsense Boy.

[HL2R Killergame]

ok i will what did the zombie say to the headcrab?

[HL2R Killergame]

Are you heading my way :)

[Warrior2k]

I got one for you, how can you sum up this thread in one word?

CRAP

[jlf]

I wouldn't agree with that :D, it's actually one of the busier threads.

[Warrior2k]

Even if most people are just posting in it to ridicule him on how bad his jokes are?

[RabidZombie]

I kinda like them (but the first joke STILL reamins a mystery)

BTW: WOO, I got my net back!

Spam removed - Moderator

[Warrior2k]

Spam removed - Moderator
rofl, poor RZ

[Crazy_Farmer]

I have the greatest joke for you.

Why combines are beating people?






















Because they are moderators and they beat people that make gay threads like this one.

[HL2R Killergame]

Some people likethe STUPID JOKES :) and theres 3 pages of it of comments and jokes 1 per page

[HL2R Killergame]

What do you call a antilion in a swimming pool

[HL2R Killergame]

Deadallion

[Warrior2k]

Not surprisingly, I don't get it..

[entRo]

More!

[RabidZombie]

Whats the similarity between a Combine and a glass of water?

[Crazy_Farmer]

The glass as the material glass on it and the combine has the combine skin?

[RabidZombie]

They both have the same AI coding!

Sorry for such a bad joke, but, it was the least I could do...

[SwiftSpear]

They both have the same AI coding!

Sorry for such a bad joke, but, it was the least I could do...
You should look into getting some new table settings... it isn't normal for glasses to shoot at you and make poor attemts at dodging grenades.

[Stinger]

They both have the same AI coding!

Sorry for such a bad joke, but, it was the least I could do...
You should look into getting some new table settings... it isn't normal for glasses to shoot at you and make poor attemts at dodging grenades.

They tried to dodge grenades? They never did when I played it, all they did was yell a cuss word, and stand still so the grenade tossed them in the air showing off the great ragdoll effects.

[RabidZombie]

Heh, it is as if Valve DELIBERATLY made the enemy dumb, for you to see the exelent ragdoll effects :P

AI is oe of those things impossible to get right, and when you think you have, people start going, 'Ahh, he doesn't pick up hes team mates ammo', or 'Blah, he isn't shooting while running' or 'Blerg, he doesn't shoot at the explosive barrel next to me', no matter how good, people will start to complain. (mods are different, they congratulate on any AI which is improved from the modded game, and don't say anything bad...)

[SwiftSpear]

They both have the same AI coding!

Sorry for such a bad joke, but, it was the least I could do...
You should look into getting some new table settings... it isn't normal for glasses to shoot at you and make poor attemts at dodging grenades.

They tried to dodge grenades? They never did when I played it, all they did was yell a cuss word, and stand still so the grenade tossed them in the air showing off the great ragdoll effects.
IIRC the AI get a little more intellegent if you play on medium and even slightly better on hard. The only combine I had an easy time hitting with nades were one's that couldn't go anywhere.

It's hard to make really realistic AI when you don't allow your units to go prone. Normal humans running between cover points don't suck it up when they become the focus of fire, they hit the frigging dirt.

[jlf]

Not in those environments. Hitting 'the dirt' when the enemy is only 10 metres away results in you getting shot. You dash for the cover, just like they (try to) do. When they're 100 metres away, as they would be if this was a desert, tundra or savannah, you could hit the dirt and be fairly confident of not getting headshotted immediately.

[Stinger]

Well, I wouldn't know anything about the easy/medium setting ai. I only played the game on hard, and I can tell you, the combine were stupid, really stupid.

[Texas Chainstore Manager]

How many headcrabs does it take to change a lightbulb?

[Crazy_Farmer]

How many headcrabs does it take to change a lightbulb?
One because he jumps?
Or one because he jumps on somebody, that guy become a zombie and he can easily put the lightbulb?

[RabidZombie]

They can't change a lightbulb, thats why it's dark in areas lived in by headcrabs!

[Warrior2k]

How many headcrabs does it take to change a lightbulb?
42.




*cough* subtle HGttG reference *cough*

[jlf]

Not really that subtle.

[Texas Chainstore Manager]

You're all wrong. It was e^12x where x belongs to complex numbers.

[Crazy_Farmer]

No it were:
127465819,8
That's my calculator gave me when I've done lightbulb + headcrab

[TK12]

I feel myself grow stupid everytime i read this thread.

[Warrior2k]

I feel myself grow stupid everytime i read this thread.

I didn't think you needed to grow any more stupid :D

[Dred_furst]

Seriously guys, I really am good at CS.
but not so good with the grammar?

How many headcrabs does it take to change a lightbulb?
42.




*cough* subtle HGttG reference *cough*

Sorry for the inconvenience?

[Texas Chainstore Manager]

Brain the size of a planet and they're pointing it out when they make Hitchiker's references.

[Warrior2k]

mine was tailor made, :D

[RabidZombie]

...
I love the books, the radio series was great, the film was super, and the TV show was fantastic, but do we need all the quotes...

If so, I got my book in front of me (my favorate part of the trilogy in 5 parts):

"...Another thing that got forgotten was the fact that against all probability a sperm whale had suddenly been called into existance several miles above the surface of an alien planet.
And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this poor innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it then had to come to terms with not being a whale any more..."

(not forgetting after the brief history of the whale's thoughts)

"...Curiously enough, the only thing that went though the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again. Many people have speculated that if they we knew exactly why the bowl of petunias had thought that we would know a lot more about the nature of the Universe than we do now..."

[Texas Chainstore Manager]

The great thing is, you eventually do find out why the bowl of petunias thought that :D. One of the very few books where a bowl of petunias is a major character.

[RabidZombie]

Hmm, I don't think I remember that bit, what chapter in which book is it in?

Blerg, I re-read the SEP bit :D, that bit is pritty funny!

[Texas Chainstore Manager]

I think it's in the third book, when Arthur meets that guy who he keeps killing - one of the guy's incarnations was as a bowl of petunias. So "oh no not again" teaches us a lot about the universe because it proves reincarnation :D.

[RabidZombie]

Oh yeah, I remember! I have to admit, I sometimes worry what Douglas Admas was thinking when writing the books...

Have you read the 'How to Leave the Planet' Joke at the end of The Guide to the Guide (in the trilogy of five parts book)?

[HL2R Killergame]

Sorry people im out of jokes i can't think of one lol ill make a new topic when i get some more its been fun 5 PAGES

[Dred_furst]

petrsonally the tv series was quite awful, the sets wobble and marvin isnt what i imagined him to be, but the quaterly phase is half way through on the radio (new series, ) and the tertiary phase is available on CD :D

[RabidZombie]

It is a real shame Douglas Adams died... I wonder what he wold have written if he was still alive... Another Hitchhiker book, or maybie The Restraunt at the end of the universe film script...

Edit: hmm, from a Joke thread to a Douglas Admas thread.... Anyway, shouldn't this be in the Non related forums (ie not the general Sourceforts bit)

[jlf]

Good point. Moved.